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[DM/HP] I Thought of You by: Dacro

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发表于 2009-10-21 04:55:03 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
本帖最后由 浅眠 于 2009-10-21 05:02 编辑

授权书
From: "frulie@gmail.com" <frulie@gmail.com>
To: <sleepyxin@yahoo.com>
Sent: Mon, October 19, 2009 6:53:45 PM
Subject: Re: Please allow me to repost your stories

Sure.  That is fine. :)

Dacro

原文地址:http://dacro.livejournal.com/117752.html
Title: I Thought of You
Author: Dacro
Characters: Draco (implied Harry)
Rating: PG
Summary: Draco still walks with Harry, even though he's been gone for a year.
Disclaimer: Harry, Draco, and all their bits belongeth not to me.
Possible Spoilers: none
Warnings: (it has one bad word, implied chacter death, sad *sniff*)
Archive: be my guest. *hug*


Teaser:
Anyway, I was telling you about the streets. I was walking, feeling the air touch my skin, and it reminded me of how you loved being held. I'd complain that I was dying of heat, and you'd just press in closer. I never pushed you off because I loved it too.

I never told you that.



I thought about you tonight.

I apparated to London, just for some walking, and it struck me as odd that it is so unseasonably warm for mid May. The weather has improved since the winter, true, but this is almost an unnatural heat that feels more like mid August, the kind of air that presses in on my skin.

It was like I could feel you there.

Do you know what I tell people when they ask how I'm doing? I put on a brave face, swallow the bile and tell them I'm never giving up. No body - means no death, am I correct? They'll keep searching at my request and expense, but I know somewhere in my heart that if you were alive, you would have already found your way back home. A year is too long.

You never kept me waiting.

Anyway, I was telling you about the streets. I was walking, feeling the air touch my skin, and it reminded me of how you loved being held. I'd complain that I was dying of heat, and you'd just press in closer. I never pushed you off because I loved it too.

I never told you that.

People fill the streets, even in the late hour that I'm there, and I like how it feels to be surrounded and invisible at the same time. Do you know that if you walk, keeping your eyes on the pavement just slightly ahead and in front of you, people will pass, stores will blur, and there is complete solitude? It feels like last summer. We felt invisible then too. Do you remember? We didn't notice anything much, except each other.

Everything reminded me of you tonight, and my heart aches again.
I really want to be selfish. I want to demand that someone give you back to me, but I wouldn't know where to start.

I can't give up, and won't move on.

Then there was the smell of cake that hit like the towels you used to snap me with in the bathroom. Your favourite bakery was open late, making some type of ornate wedding cake. I just stood there at the window, watching until it was completed.

I don't know why.

Remember those little chocolate shells topped with strawberries and glaze? After you disappeared, they stopped making them. The owner pulled me aside one day and said they had done it to show their sympathies. I think it's quite strange that their idea of honouring you, was taking away the one thing you loved best about going there. I suppose people grieve in their own way.

God, our bed is so empty.
I thought about downsizing so I wouldn't notice the side I never sleep on, but a single bed seems too pathetic. Besides, I wouldn't be able to sleep on a bed we never shared.

I really don't know what I want anymore. There's a strange comfort in walking around with your memory as my sole companion. As long as I keep my eyes to the pavement, I can even imagine that you're walking beside me.

You're quiet, that's all.

I really hope death is the new world everyone makes it out to be. To know that you're somewhere waiting or watching, or can still feel how much I need you, would keep other dark thoughts out of my head. If I knew for certain that I could join you at any moment, one slip of a blade, one step in front of a train, would I? I wish I knew what religion was the right one, because I would follow it, without question, if it meant a faster path back to you. I know I'm grasping at straws, but there's really not much else I want to do with my time.

I see a few kids lined up for a club. I don't know if I could give them a run for their money anymore. No, scratch that. You always said, that to you, there was no one more beautiful. I'll keep that fallacy, even if I'm the only one that pretends to believe it, because it reminds me of you.

You were liquid on the dance floor. I never would have thought it in school, but we just needed to find you the right type of music, and the right partner.

I know this is damaging me.

Do I care?

I'm told therapy would aid in my recovery, but that would be the same as asking for help, even though I'd be the one getting the bill. It would be showing weakness.

To tell you the truth, I already know I'm an addict.
I want you and the craving doesn't lessen with time. All I have is a collection of memories, and they're never enough.

Do you know some bloke in that cafe next to the place we used to buy ice cream, asked me out for coffee? I acted like a school girl, turned pink and left. Well, he shouldn't have asked me so suddenly.

Maybe I should rethink therapy, since I'm sure there's far too much going on in my head than I know how to deal with.

I miss you. Everything inside seizes up and I can't breathe.

Fuck.

One year! One year, and it still hurts the same.

I want to hear your voice, even if you only say one word.

Say my name again. No one says it like you.

God, I hurt.

There's so many more things I wanted to share with you. So many times I turn around to tell you something that I know only you and I would find amusing, and when you're not there, my heart breaks all over again. Tonight I could feel you in the air, and it only made the pain that much worse.

I don't even know why I'm going on like this. I suppose I just wanted you to know that I thought of you tonight.

But then again, I only ever think of you.
发表于 2009-11-8 12:33:03 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 水刃 于 2009-11-8 19:01 编辑

I love this artical~I also read the translation one by sleepxin and  叶苏芸.
oh,it also makes me hurt.
ps:if I have some mistakes, please tell me= =I always have no confident on my english.TAT...
发表于 2010-1-7 22:44:34 | 显示全部楼层
Well, it' s really hard for me to type these words by cell phone.
I luv such kind of monologue in English. It feels incredibly good.
Actually, I hate character death because it hurts. But I like this story.
发表于 2010-2-14 15:01:48 | 显示全部楼层
oh,what a great article it is! l like it very much!
  lt makes me deep in thought..
P.s.l hope that all of you can know what l say because my poor enghlish.咳咳,这回复怎么看怎么都像我在英语考试中写的英语作文。。。8过,我看英文文章的目的是要提高英语成绩的不错。。
发表于 2010-2-19 22:30:19 | 显示全部楼层
i remember this sentence when i read an article years ago.
[Now i'm standing here, thinking of you.]
it feels like everything else spins around and all of sudden there's only solitude.
you were here being with me last year; all i can see here is you
and i miss you really
[You're quiet, that's all.]
= =原来也一定要写中文哦,恩 我英文文法还是比较差的 不足之处见谅
这种独白形式的文章我很喜欢

点评

看不懂英文啊  发表于 2011-3-7 21:23
发表于 2010-2-27 20:41:41 | 显示全部楼层
OK,I do everything what I can do.(please forgive my pool Chinese English)Ah...I don't  konw why.When I reading this artical ,onliy thinking about death.(I never konw what I said.)
对于一个艺术生,正在考试专业的艺术生....我尽力了....
发表于 2010-3-4 09:12:38 | 显示全部楼层
i dun no y, its kinda remind me of p.s. i love you and the message in a bottle, i mean the letter, the everlastin love, both of them reminded me of those two books, even tho the story is short and simple, it is veri touchin
love it ;)
ohhhhh 要寫中文,太久沒寫了>.<
不好意思,寫的都是英文short form...
发表于 2010-3-8 20:06:40 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 S.S.S. 于 2010-3-9 08:59 编辑

Read it on a boring class. I was in the back of the classroom, alone. I really don't like character death, but I couldn't help reading it out in a low voice. Felt cold when I finished. The words are beautiful, the emotions are deep and true.
呃·· 很喜欢段落之间几个简短的句子,很绝望的D。
P.S. 喜欢这种独白形式的,淡淡的忧伤,他的贵族气质。
发表于 2010-5-19 22:14:14 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 brent 于 2010-5-19 22:15 编辑

Simple words,but it hurts so much. I love this essay.
"But then again, I only ever think of you."
Feels like a promise,however it's just a comfort to himslef.The same way to the bed thing.Surrounding by the memory of his be loved.Pure as water and hurts like hell.

一定要加中文...=。=
好吧...真心疼...就像平静地把自己的心挤出血一样...
在看这篇文的时候在听Travis 的Under the moonlight,听到"I'll waite here to play a song for you.You'll be under the pale moonlight"又看到 "you never kept me waiting"不禁出现一幅Draco独自一人在惨白月光下走在人行道上失魂落魄的画面.....
发表于 2010-6-23 14:39:02 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 微醺 于 2010-6-23 14:44 编辑

已经疼得不知道如何是好了……
爱是天时地利的过错。
天上地下两不相见。
天若有情天亦老……我不知道我在说什么……
一个人的独自念白,没有回应,将永远无人回应的念白让人心里好疼……
All I have is a collection of memories, and they're never enough.
……已经不知道说什么好了……除了难过就是难过……
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